Tales of the Unexpected
England and Wales have been at war for most of modern history. England has won all but one of the wars which ended in a draw - Wales LLDLL. LLDLL is, of course, a small town near Chepstow. Cardiff officially became the capital of Wales in 1955. Prior to 1955 anywhere that 3 men in black pointy hats gathered was considered the Welsh Capital.
Cardiff's main tourist attraction is Cardiff Castle. But if you want to get away from the mad crush of 20 or 30 middle aged tourists then head to one of Cardiff's lesser-known castles, Castle Coch. With its fine upstanding turrets "The Coch" as it is known by locals, laid in ruins for centuries. But with careful and gentle handiwork "The Coch" was raised again and is now visible, especially in early mornings, straining skyward in all its glory.
Historically Cardiff was once a seething mass of drunks, criminals and speech impediments. It's now a modern thriving city filled with drunks criminals and people who have learned English. But it's not all sunshine and rainbows, Cardiff was once home to the infamous Pirate Captain Morgan, who was born in Llanrumney a suburb of Cardiff. He of course soon got the hell out of Cardiff and moved to civilisation in the Carribean.
After retiring from piracy, the lash, and sodomy, Captain Morgan became a photographic model whose image, to this day, can still be seen on products all over the world.
Famous people from Cardiff include WW2 fighter ace and author Roald Dahl, TV "funnyman" Griff Rhys Jones and Cardiff's most famous son - Craig Bellamy who bravely escaped from Cardiff and went on to play for the world's greatest football club.
Another professional footballer - Ryan Giggs, most famous for repeatedly sleeping with his brother's wife, was also born in Cardiff. Giggs at the time of the scandal campaigned for increased privacy laws, primarily to protect and uphold civil liberties, and to stop his wife from finding out. He was incredibly successful and to this day nobody knows about him sleeping with his brother's wife.
So this time on your visit to Cardiff, why not invite your brothers' wife along to relax beneath "The Coch?" Perhaps you can even find time to read a Roald Dahl book whilst sampling a bottle of Captain Morgans finest.
Cardiff - beautiful one day, perfect the next.
Smash the Bastards.
Allison
TAA Matip, VVD Robertson
Henderson Fabinho Keita
Salah, Firmino, Mane
Subs - Mignolet, Shaq, Origi, Gomez, Lallana, Lovren, Milner.
And I didn't mention sheep once.
dgit’s biting lead-up commentary on every match. He always has something unique and interesting to say about every side we’re facing.
